Thursday, January 21, 2010

Surviving the Wait




This is how our cats Rosco and Maggie are "Surviving the Wait" :)

That is what the meeting I went to the other night was called. It was a meeting that our agency hosted. I was looking forward to it because it seemed like perfect timing since we are embarking on the update of paperwork and such.

There were only 5 people (plus caseworker and intern) there so it was intimate. The first question: How long have you been waiting....

Lady 1 Has a 4 year old that was adopted from the agency and is now waiting for adoption #2 and has been waiting a year. Was matched the first time after 3 months of being in the waiting "pool".

Lady 2 Has a 2 year old that was adopted from the agency and just turned in the paperwork for adoption #2

Lady 3 (me) Have been waiting almost a year

Couple (#4&5) Have been waiting for child #1 for 2.5 years

Ugh---that breaks my heart. I could see the pain in their eyes but hear the courage in their voice as they spoke about how hard it was for them to fill out the paperwork when it hit 2 years.

The caseworker says the longest someone has waited to be matched is 5 years---FIVE years. Ugh--I will be close to 40 at that point. So my thought is how long do you wait till you decide "the waiting" is too much and quality of life is more important. That living your daily life with hope for a call but not getting the call is too hard for your body/mind to handle? We hit that point with all the fertility we did. I was tired of being a science experiment and it wasn't working....so do you hit that with the waiting period?

The caseworker said--at some point as long as you can mentally handle the wait, you might as well fill out the paperwork and wait--because it could happen at any time.

Did the class make me feel better? It always gives me hope to see others that have been placed, but it broke my heart to see the other couple that have been waiting and then I realized--that could be us--and can I handle that?

Sometimes I wonder why it has to be this hard to be a mom---I have been told that someday it will all make sense.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

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